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CHRISTMAS WITH THE CRANKS! O’Reilly says Macy’s just luvvs euthanasia! But then, guess what? So does Fox: // link // print // previous // next //
MONDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2004

CHRISTMAS WITH THE CRANKS: How kooky has your public discourse become? To what extent has American discourse been handed over to crackpots and cranks? William Donohue helped you see with his rant about the way those “secular Jews” hate Christianity and luv anal sex (text below). But that’s the way conversation goes when the crackpots gather in Scarborough Country, or on the other cable shows which are making a joke of your discourse. In particular, Donohue has evolved from red-faced ranter to open crackpot in the years he’s devoted to cable tirade. And your discourse is being turned to a joke as cable channels build their shows around him and his crackpot cadre.

Recently, Donohue has been troubled by the way “diversity fascists” have been spoiling Christmas. And so, of course, has Bill O’Reilly, the day’s self-proclaimed sole defender. In particular, O’Reilly has been deeply disturbed by the conduct of Macy’s department stores. On his December 6 program, for instance, Mr. O’R burst from the gate hard. “Tonight, Christmas continues to be attacked nationwide as secular forces zero in on the most visible display of Judeo-Christian philosophy,” he thundered. And when he presented his “Talking Points Memo,” we got a parade of true horribles:

O’REILLY (12/6/04): Thanks for watching us tonight. Christmas under siege, the big picture, that is the subject of this evening's “Talking Points Memo.”

All over the country, Christmas is taking flak. In Denver this past weekend, no religious floats were permitted in the holiday parade there. In New York City, Mayor Bloomberg unveiled the “holiday tree,” and no Christian Christmas symbols are allowed in the public schools. Federated Department Stores—Macy's—have done away with the Christmas greeting, “Merry Christmas.”

That’s right! Instead of saying “Merry Christmas,” Macy’s is saying “Happy holidays!” And Bill O’Reilly—a visible crackpot—is able to say why that is:
O’REILLY (continuing directly): Now, all of this anti-Christian stuff is absurd, and may even be a bias situation. But the real reason it's happening has little to do with Christmas and everything to do with organized religion.

Secular progressives realize that America as it is now will never approve of gay marriage, partial birth abortion, euthanasia, legalized drugs, income redistribution through taxation, and many other progressive visions because of religious opposition.

But if the secularists can destroy religion in the public arena, the brave new progressive world is a possibility. That's what happened in Canada.

It’s all about what happened in Canada! “Drug decriminalization is a reality” in Canada, Mr. O said, “as is any kind of abortion. The Canadian model is what progressive Americans are shooting for. Thus, Christian displays like Christmas must be scaled back because the connection with Judeo-Christian beliefs is bad for the secular agenda.” Get it? Macy’s is saying “Happy holidays” because it wants to legalize euthanasia! And so it goes, night after night, on The Factor and in Scarborough land.

Anywhere except in American “news,” these views would be seen for what they are—the kooky rants of screaming crackpots, the kind who need to be supervised closely by relatives and loving friends. But increasingly, screaming crackpots like Bill O’Reilly control the agenda of America’s discourse. And mainstream pundits refuse to note the absurdity of the ongoing conduct. It’s so much simpler to look away as the kooky-con clowning goes on.

Does America deserve a rational discourse? If so, O’Reilly isn’t the man to provide it. Indeed, how kooky is his Christmas rant? Let’s go back to December 2002 and watch him when he first laid out his thoughts on this plupotent subject.

Today, of course, O’Reilly is peeved at what “the secularists” are doing to Christmas. But how incoherent are his thoughts on the subject? Two years ago, he introduced his complaint about the Christmas policy of New York’s schools. And at that time, he was peeved because people refused to admit that Christmas was a secular event:

O’REILLY (12/10/02): The New York City policy is nuts. It's offensive. It's unfair. And it flies in the face of what the secular holiday is celebrating, which is the birth of Jesus. So if you can have a Menorah for Hanukkah and you can have a star and crescent for Ramadan, you can say to the public school children that we are celebrating the birth of a great philosopher here, a man who wanted peace among all men and goodwill?
Bill had a quite-kooky take on Christmas. In New York’s schools, the menorah was considered a secular symbol. But so what? Christmas displays were secular too, according to the peeved pundit! According to Bill, Americans are simply honoring the birth of a “great philosopher” when they observe “the secular holiday.” That’s right—it came down to a choice between Christmas and Kant’s Day, and Americans decided that Jesus Christ was the better philosopher by far! Surely, this is the strangest possible view of this rather well-known day. But Bill has continued to push this view right up to the present:
O’REILLY (12/1/04): Well, we're celebrating a federal holiday based on a philosopher, Jesus in which a lot of our laws and our moral obligations in this country are based on Jesus. That's history. That's what we're celebrating. And U.S. Grant and his Congress knew it and that's why they passed it.
Grant had a taste for great philosophers, and he felt Jesus Christ was the best!

But let’s be fair. O’Reilly’s crusade has helped us learn about Fox News Channel’s real agenda, as well as the agenda at Macy’s. Apparently, the people at Fox hate Christmas too—and they want to legalize euthanasia as well! Is Macy’s wishing you “happy holidays?” Well guess what— so is The Fox News Channel, in a promo by weekend anchor Rita Cosby! The spot is being widely played on the channel. Here’s how the fiendish spot starts:

COSBY PROMO: I had a very small family but my brother and I always enjoyed being together, playing with our toys. I had a favorite Christmas elf you couldn’t grab out of my hands, I loved it so much. Christmas was always a wonderful time at my house...
So far, so good—although Cosby doesn’t seem to know that this day is devoted to the joys of philosophy. And maybe that was just a hint of what lies behind her smiling facade. After all, ow does Cosby end her spot? That’s right! With a pitch for gay marriage!
COSBY (continuing directly): Happy holidays!
An ornate “Happy holidays” comes up on the screen. The sign doesn’t say “Merry Christmas.”

Some of you are going to say that Cosby referenced Christmas in her remarks. Of course, Macy’s is full of such references too—but when they dare to say “Happy holidays,” Mr. O knows that they’re really pimping for legalized euthanasia, like in Canada. As we spend Christmas with the cranks, such kooky claims ring out through the land. The Christmas spirit is there to see as crackpots trash Macy’s and secular Jews, spreading the message that was once proclaimed by one of our greatest philosophers.

CRANKING OUT THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT: How uplifting is the season? Here’s the visible crackpot, Bill Donohue, recently ranting in Scarborough Country. He chatted with guest host Pat Buchanan about possible Oscar nominations:

BUCHANAN (12/8/04): Bill Donohue, what do you think about The Passion of the Christ? And as a practical matter, even if Hollywood hated the film, it seems to me as an artistic work of art, a smashing triumph, a film of great controversy and interest, it ought to at least be nominated for best picture. It pulled in more money than any other picture all year.

DONOHUE: I spoke to Mel [Gibson] a couple of weeks ago about this. And I don`t think it really matters a whole lot to him. It certainly doesn`t matter to me. We`ve already won.

Who really cares what Hollywood thinks? All these hacks come out there. Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular. It`s not a secret, OK? And I`m not afraid to say it. That`s why they hate this movie. It`s about Jesus Christ, and it`s about truth. It`s about the messiah.

Hollywood likes anal sex. They like to see the public square without nativity scenes. I like families. I like children. They like abortions.

Indeed! That’s why they make you hear “Happy holidays” every time you walk into Macy’s! It’s all so clear when Rick Kaplan’s gang lay out the sense of the season.

TOMORROW: Last HOWLER before Christmas! A review of key Social Security points for use at the holiday table.