HUSH HUSH SWEET LIBERALS! Edsall, Marshall and Dionne all recite requisite liturgy: // link // print // previous // next //
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2006
STILL COMING: We strongly recommend this report in the Washington Post about remedial algebra classes. Are you concerned about the way our low-income schools work? Please note: These are the students who are willing to make an extra effort to graduate! And yes, the final part of our Tough-talk series is still on the way. This week.
THE INNER INKA, OR THE EDSEL WITHIN: The modern pundit lives to recite. Like Inka high priests, he straps on his ceremonial garb and recites his cohorts liturgies:
EDSALL (12/11/06): The head of the pack is a dangerous place for a Democrat to be. Democrats excel in cannibalizing their front-runners. Just ask those who were knocked out in the primary season (Lyndon Johnson, Ed Muskie and Howard Dean) or those who limped from the ring after 15 rounds (Walter Mondale and Al Gore).Thats Thomas Edsall, in todays New York Times, reciting one of his tribes sacred texts. Youll hear it said again and again. Please note how absurd Edsalls tale is.
According to Edsall, Republican voters resist rebels and underdogs. By contrast (there always must be a contrast), Democrats excel in cannibalizing their front-runners. High priests like Edsall never stop saying this. But look how hard he has to work to find his three Dem examples.
Yes, Lyndon Johnson dropped out of the race—in 1968. And Edmund Muskie went down to defeat—in 1972. But in the 34 years since Muskie wept, Edsall can find only one instance where Democrats cannibalized their front-runner—and that occurs in 2004, with Howard Dean the alleged example! But Dean was the classic rebel and underdog—and, starting in the Iowa caucus, he was soundly rejected by Dem voters, in favor of a long-time party insider. But you can see why Edsall cites Dean. Over the course of the past 30 years, theres really nowhere else to go if you want to prove his priesthoods story. Just consider how hard it is if you start in 1980:
1980: Carter re-nominated. Dems reject the rebel campaign of Ted Kennedy.Go ahead. Just try to prove this priesthoods liturgy based on real-world Democratic events. But nothing stops our Inka priests from reciting their cohorts Ancient Tales. (Note: We have very few presidential elections. Intelligent people wouldnt base sweeping theories, about either party, on such a limited n.)
By the way: In Campaign 2000, did Gore limp from the ring after 15 rounds? Gore won every primary, the only Democrat to do so in a contested race. He led Bush in the polls after Super Tuesday—so Edsalls priesthood swung into action, inventing new tales about Gores troubling character. In the Post, Edsall himself had passed on a real whopper back in 4/99.
Where does this priesthood find adepts like Edsall? Belching and coughing, he chants their prime tales, suggesting an Edsel within.
ANOTHER EDSEL SPUTTERS AND ROARS: Then theres Josh Marshall, who is shocked, shocked—for reasons unknown—when Jeff Greenfield offers a weird review of Barack Obamas deeply troubling wardrobe. Question to Josh: When do you plan to return to this planet? During Campaign 2000, this same priesthood conducted an endless discussion of the two Democrats dueling wardrobes. Bill Bradleys unfashionable neckties and 25-year-old shoes showed his admirable authenticity; Al Gores earth tones/cowboy boots/polo shirts/three-button suits showed his deeply troubling character. (His cowboy boots showed that he was a phony. His polo shirts showed he was targeting women. His three-button suits showed that he was a sex fiend. His earth tones showed he didnt know who he was. When he wore casual clothes some days and formal clothes on some others, that showed he was all mixed up too. We wont even waste our time directing you to all the archives. Our liberal leaders are deeply committed to not knowing what has occurred.)
How extensive was this nonsense—especially the attacks on Gore for his clothing? Earlier this year, Paul Krugman referred to Campaign 2000 as a campaign about clothing (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 5/26/06). On what planet was Josh residing when this astounding campaign occurred? More globally: Why do our leading liberals refuse to discuss our recent history? What strange manner of Inka sun god does this strange loser-hood worship?
We agree—its hard to fathom such work from Greenfield. Weve been working with material like this for the past eight years—and we still find it utterly puzzling. But that doesnt mean that we should pretend to find it surprising. After all, in 2001, Greenfields profoundly self-serving book was an open insult against reason too. We wasted our time explaining it then—in substantial, week-long detail.
At any rate, theres absolutely nothing new about bizarre critiques of Big Democrats clothing. In Campaign 2000, Greenfields priesthood behaved this way endlessly. Who knows—we can only guess. Perhaps Josh was too polite and well-mannered to process the history-changing clowning which actually sent George Bush to the White House. Perhaps thats why hes shocked when it starts up again. Internally, its like he never heard.
DIONNE (12/12/06): The doubters are ashamed to say what really worries them: that Americans don't want to relive the supposed psychodramas of the Bill Clinton years; that her association with her husband will mobilize his enemies more than it will energize his friends; that their relationship is just too complex for those critical swing voters to understand or accept.[N]o matter how unfair, misguided or even dimwitted Sen. Clinton's supporters may find the catalogue of doubts, she will have to deal with them if she is to win over all the guilt-ridden skeptics, E. J. says in his column.
And thats where Obama comes in. If she beats Obama in the primaries, Clinton would prove her mettle, which might finally put the doubts to rest. At the end, E. J. restates his thesis: However the contest turns out, the debate about the future that Obama is encouraging would be good for Clinton because, most of all, she needs to put the past behind her.
This is a wonderfully pleasing tale. Its also the latest piece of Inka logic. Hush hush, all you great liberal leaders! Please dont discuss the recent past!
Readers, lets try to think back to Campaign 04. Theoretically, Kerry had shown that he was electable by winning all those primary races—and then, the spinning and swift-boating started! First, Kerry was undercut by all those spin-points—spin-points which were widely recited in the mainstream press and largely ignored by the liberal web. (Kerry voted against every weapon system!) Then, the swift-boat campaign brought him down. Since the primary race wasnt built on weird fantasies, nothing in that primary race showed whether Kerry was ready to deal with all that. And as it turned out, he wasnt ready. That is to say, Kerry lost.
The real questions about Clintons chances are similar. It isnt a question of whether she could win a string of primaries, involving Dem voters. The real questions about the general election include these:
1) What sorts of attacks would begin one day after Clinton clinched the nomination?And, perhaps most important of all:
3) To what extent would the mainstream press run a Love Boat campaign for her GOP rival?Those are the actual questions which need to be asked about Clintons chances (or any Dems).But uh-oh! These actual questions cant be asked without offending against approved liturgy. To discuss these actual questions, we have to discuss the actual way the Clintons reputations got smeared in the 90s. We have to discuss the actual way the mainstream press covered Campaign 2000. (Including its Love Boat campaign for McCain.) And yes, we have to discuss the swift-boating of the 04 nominee. But uh-oh! All these discussions involve a verboten topic—the actual conduct of the national press corps. And so, like Josh and Digby before him, E. J. Dionne takes a pass.
Quite often, we humans look back and marvel at the puzzling mental styles of the ancients. But if you read Edsall/Marshall/Digby/Dionne, you can see that blinkered traits never die. Todays high priests disappear real events with the skill of any priesthood. For reasons only a shrink could approach, we liberals refuse to discuss recent history. Today, were shocked—were simply shocked—to see that earth tones discussion resume. We act like that swift-boating never occurred. Ditto Whitewater. Ditto Gore. And ditto that ongoing Love Boat production—the production which has been so utterly clownish, the one E. J. doesnt discuss.
These events are too weird for good liberals to process. And so, it seems to be hush hush, sweet liberals! All these events get disappeared. Josh is shocked—hes simply amazed—to see these great men discuss clothing.
Below, a comical statement by Josh, today. It surely could go on the coat-of-arms of our great liberal leaders:
MARSHALL: Wow. I've got to say I really didn't see that coming.