A LADYS SURPRISE! Once again, the analysts howled as they read the Times op-ed columns: // link // print // previous // next //
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2009
Mouse 2Pitiful Uninsured Giant: A few weeks ago, TCM aired The Mouse That Roaredwith Jean Seberg as the love interest! (Who knew?) Frankly, we wondered if this might be a sign. You see, wed already been scripting a sequel to this famous film. Working title: Mouse That Roared 2: Pitiful Uninsured Giant.
Before we describe the new films plot, lets examine a few of the levers, pulleys, buttons and nobs found in our current health system.
Truly, this system must be human historys biggest Rube Goldberg Machine. Just consider three reports in this mornings New York Timesreports which describe the numbing complexity found in our current, hodgepodge-heavy arrangements.
In this report, David Herszenhorn describes the complexities in our Medicaid system. Who gets covered under Medicaid? Heres a taste of this piece:
Is that reference to Medicare a typo? Like ninety percent of Congress, we have no earthly idea. But the bewilderments of our current system are also reflected in this report by Stephanie Strom. Non-profits are upset by reform plans, Strom says. For reasons which go unexplained, they arent being treated like small businesses in current reform proposals:
Small asks a good question. But then, for the most striking of todays gong-shows, just consider this front-page report about the rules which govern kidney transplants under Medicare. Kevin Sack does the honors:
Whitaker has now had two six-figure transplants under Medicare. Her first transplant failed because she had to start skipping her anti-rejection drugs. (By late 2003, her transplanted kidney had failed, and she returned to dialysis, covered by the government at $9,300 a month, more than three times the cost of the pills.)
This is quite an array of complexitiesand its all in todays newspaper. But lets face it: Given this nations twin burdens (big corporate power/big liberal columnists), well never fix this Goldberg Machine. This brings us to the plot of Mouse That Roared 2: Pitiful Uninsured Giant.
In this film, a frustrated second-term Democratic president hatches an unusual plan to achieve national coverage. (This president bears an intriguing resemblance to President Obama. Example: In his recent, successful re-election campaign, his unfortunate middle nameAhmadinejadhas cost him supportagain!)
At a sober cabinet meeting, the president unveils his newest health reform plan. He plans to declare war on Finlandand lose! As he surrenders to the Finns, he will insist that they annex the United Statesand extend health coverage to all citizens. He knows this plan will be affordable, even if the Finns dont make us pitch in:
Plainly, its time to act. And sure enough! Finnish soldiers soon overrun Manhattan. At the formal surrender meeting, the president makes his non-negotiable demand. He thus goes into the history books as the president who finally found a way to give us national health care!
But wait a minute, you may be saying. How does the United States army manage to lose a war to Finland? A cabinet member asks the same questionand gets a sagacious reply. When military operations start, the president says, Ill by putting Don Rumsfeld in charge. And theres more! Ive always said this could be a bipartisan effort, the handsome president impishly says, right at the end of the film.
Laura Ingraham provides the love interestwith an unnamed adviser, of course.
Tomorrow, unless we change our mindMouse That Roared 3: In a third film, a Republican president finds a no-nonsense way to provide Canadian-style health care.
PART 1A LADYS SURPRISE: On many weekends, we find ourselves flummoxed by the New York Times op-ed page. Its stunning to think that such pitiful work is compiled at the top of our press corps.
This weekend was no exception. Very early on Saturday morning, the analysts howled and tore at their hair. Theyd just been exposed, for the ten millionth time, to a Standard Gail Collins Open:
Lady Collins is constantly caught by surprise by her nations politics. This isnt a moral failing, of coursebut wed have to call it a puzzling trait in a major political columnist. If youre surprised to see that three strikes make an out, you might not make it as a sports columnist. But at the Times, incomprehension about our politics seems to fuel a scribes rise.
Collins is constantly tongue-in-cheek, of course. When the rise in sea level wipes away Florida, she will help us see the humor in bodies washing ashore near Atlanta. By way of contrast, Frank Rich typically thunders it straight. As he did in this passage from Sundays columna column in which he lamented Obamas Squandered Summer:
Rich sleeps with his thumbs on scales. From that passage, a reader might think that this most revealing of all the poll findings suggested ambivalence or incomprehension, rather than disapproval, when it comes to Obamas proposed reform. For better or worse, that notion is rather hard to sustainif you review Richs source. If you click the link Rich provides, you come to this report about that end-of-August query. The report was written by the Posts Jennifer Agiesta. This was her first paragraph:
That was his links first paragraph! Frankly, we thought this was Rich!
According to the poll, 21 percent of respondents said they didnt have a one-word reaction to the Posts question about health reform. They answered none, or said they had no opinion. (The question: What single word best describes your feelings about the proposed changes to the health care system being developed by Congress and the Obama administration?)
But 80 percent of respondents did voice a reactionand the Post said their responses tilted against the reform proposals, by a 12-point margin. (Six percent offered a neutral word, in the Posts assessment.) Frankly, thats not an encouraging findingand it isnt a sign of overall neutrality/incomprehension. But thats the type of thing you dont have to learn if you read Richs columns. You also dont have to know that Obama has adjusted his rhetoric concerning the number of uninsured. This is the relevant passage from Obamas speech:
Obama has adjusted his number. Not Rich! In his column, he keeps blustering about the 46-million plus Americans who have no health insurancewhile linking to a Times report which in fact says something different. (It refers to 46.3 million American residents. Rich may not have understood the distinction.) To learn why Obama may have switched to that number, see this report from the Washington Post. In this mornings New York Times, David Herzenhorn is also working from the revised 30-million figure (see quoted passage above). Not Rich. He maintains bluster.
How many Americans are uninsured? A precise number is hard to nail down. Richs failure to adjust isnt nearly as important as his persistent failure to comprehend. Pandering and fawning as he always does (except when hes attacking/reviling), Rich opened with a predictable pander about Obamas latest brilliant speech. He did this before moving on to please us libs with his statement about that pogrom.
Did Obama give a brilliant speech? (His latest brilliant speech?) Wed have to say he didnt. He did some things Democrats rarely do, but he also offered a pop-gun solution to a gigantic problemthe problem which continues to drive his rhetoric about the need for reform. Your country spends more than twice as much on health care as any other nation, he said. (Thats factually false, but largely on-point.) And then, he offered a less than brilliant solution to our truly remarkable problem. If we slow the growth in spending by one-tenth of one percent per year, we will reap great rewards, he rather weirdly said (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 9/10/09).
That just isnt a brilliant speechunless you live in La-La Land East. But thats where Collins and Rich spend their time, along with occasional colleagues. You see, the pair are High Manhattan Liberalsanother way of saying that they dont have a progressive bone in their bodies. Frankly, Collins will clown, and Rich will fawn. (Or revile.) And your country will stay largely clueless.
Coming: Dowd does raceand Kristof on Reids new book.