THE DARLINGS LOVE TRIVIA! As the darlings erase their old trivia, they invent more—on page one // link // print // previous // next //
TUESDAY, JULY 31, 2007
WORK ON THE CEILING: Men with hammers have come to our campus; they have even broken holes in our ceiling! For that reason, were postponing Gail Collins tangerine day, and a few more thoughts on that YouTube debate. But lets learn two things about the darlings, who have been quite bored this week:
THE DARLINGS LIKE CHANGING YOUR HISTORY: The darlings are not unlike Stalin, who was so skillful at changing history. When the time comes, they airbrush the photos in history books. They wipe out major chapters:
Item: Al Gore didnt say he invented the Internet! Al Gore didnt say he invented the Internet! It was one year ago when the Posts Michael Grunwald finally explained this fact to the world (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 7/25/06). A punishing part of our history was gone. But wouldnt you know it! Grunwald forgot to say why wed heard different in the Post for the prior seven years.Like Stalin, the darlings work in mysterious ways. When it suits them, photos are strangely rearranged; entire chapters of history disappear. And we liberals sit and stare! For lo, as it has long been written: You can say any damn thing about our leaders! Later, when you wipe it away, we wont even quibble or comment.
THE DARLINGS LOVE TRIVIA: Point two: The darlings adore their trivia. On Sunday, the New York Times wasted 2200 words on a front-page report about letters written by Hillary Clinton—in the mid- to late-1960s, when she was 19 years old. Today, the darlings waste 2600 words, on page one, on this profile of Chelsea Clinton.
But darlings, trivia is rarely trivial. Indeed, many pundits took the bait about those antique letters. Quick example, just one among many—Dana Goldstein, in Tapped:
GOLDSTEIN (7/30/07): All in all, these letters aren't particularly revelatory. They prove only that Hillary has been bookish, ambitious, and maybe a little bit condescending her entire life.Good God! We can slice the baloney amazingly thin when we take the bait from their trivia! The letters prove that Clinton has maybe been a little bit condescending during her entire life, Goldstein unwisely—and compliantly—judged. For the darlings, it was mission accomplished! Based on sheer nonsense, there we were, calling one of our leaders condescending again!
(The Times Mark Leibovich—he gets upset when Clinton makes men hold her purse— had improbably said that Clintons old letters were mildly patronizing if not scornful. Go ahead—just read the example that proves his point. Then, treat yourself to a laugh.)
Yep! Their trivia are rarely trivial; often, trivia serve as a way to get treasured themes into print. And this morning, sure enough, Jodi Kantor starts her hiss-spitting early. Readers, what can you say about a darling who is willing to hiss-spit like this?
KANTOR (7/31/07): Lately, Ms. Clinton has been able to have her celebrity and control it, too, enjoying the perks but fewer of the drawbacks she used to suffer, like jokes about her looks and tabloid speculation about a canceled wedding or secret honeymoon. She retains a publicist, but mainly to fend off publicity; she and her parents turned down interview requests for this article, as they have for countless others on the subject.Hiss! Hiss-spit! Hiss-spit! Meee-oww! The darling love it when adepts like Kantor find ways to put beloved themes back on the Times front page. Has Clinton been hearing fewer jokes about her looks? Let Kantor prime the pump, then!
But darlings, the truly delicious trivia come later in Kantors pointless piece. How truly nasty are these darlings—the sick, sterile losers who type for the Times? Heres how nasty: Fight your way through Kantors drivel and reach the point where the darling hiss-spits, at some length, about the moral failings of the father of Clintons boy friend! And at the end, drink in the time-bomb that gives this piece its real kick:
KANTOR: If her mother becomes president, Chelsea Clinton's role at the White House, or lack thereof, could be a clue to her own ambitions. She is biding her time, say friends, who toss out possibilities: A life in finance? The Clinton Foundation, which could pass from one generation to the next? Or, would Ms. Clinton run for office herself?Ifs, could bes and speculations run riot as Kantor closes her piece. But for the darlings with their bored, boring minds, this will make a boring summer more tolerable. Now they can offer inane remarks about—what?—fifty years of the Bushes and Clintons? Dont worry—this RNC sound-bite will soon inform some part of their trivial chatter.
Yep! Trivia is rarely trivial, as weve seen again this week. (It wasnt trivial in 1999, when the darlings invented endless trivia about Vile Gore—trivia the darlings are now rolling back.) Darlings, Hillary Clinton has maybe been a little bit condescending throughout her whole life! (Her letters prove it.) And darlings, Chelsea wants to be POTUS too!
With her looks, could she ever get there? The darlings love to ponder such drivel. Soon, cable pundits will ponder this too. In recent cycles, this has been the way our White House campaigns get decided.
TRIVIA IS RARELY TRIVIAL: To see why journalists should avoid trivia, read this fascinating report, in this mornings Times, about the way human minds (fail to) work. But oops! That report comes from Science Times—and the darlings rarely read that section. Darlings! Too tedious! So dull!
THE SOUL OF THE BANAL: Could anyone be more banal than Leibovich? Heres one of the key observations from his March, front-page profile of Hillary Clinton (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 3/6/07):
LEIBOVICH (3/6/07): Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton signs autographs meticulously, drawing out each line and curve of ''H-i-l-l-a-r-y,'' ''R-o-d-h-a-m'' and ''C-l-i-n-t-o-n.'' She leaves no stray lines or wayward marks.Endless front-page nonsense followed, including the deeply troubling moment when Clinton made a man hold her purse. But then, as Tucker Carlson likes to say: I have often said—when she comes on television, I involuntarily cross my legs. (I know you do, said his boy toy, Willie Geist.) Thats from the July 16 Tucker program. But then, he said the same thing July 9.
The darlings are banal beyond belief. But for unknown reasons, liberal writers keep taking their bait.