THE ANSWER LIES IN THE WORLD OF BILL WOLFF! Why did KO run that segment? Long ago, Wolff clued us in: // link // print // previous // next //
WEDNESDAY, MAY 13, 2009
Maureen Dowd remembers: Lets give her credit. In the second half of todays column, Maureen Dowd makes an actual argument about Dick Cheneys overall insight. Although she never quite addresses the subject of his recent debates.
But we were struck by the way she began. Quickly, she was remembering what occurred when Al Gore offered a critical warning:
As usual, Dowd is novelizing a bit when it comes to Gingrich, although his statement made little sense (text below). But this is designed to establish the sine qua non of all such columns. The Republicans are hypocrites, Dowd is saying. They said one thing in 2002, a different thing today.
Presumably, thats largely true. On the other hand, Dowd never quite establishes her own belief about such matters. Are people like Gore and Cheney permitted to speak? We would plainly say that they are. Dowd is a bit less clear.
But this opening led us to wonder. Dowd almost seems to be shaking her head about the rough things that were said about Goreeven by the inexcusable Kelly, her crackpot childhood friend. But what did the lady say in real time? Incomparably, we decided to check.
What did Lady Dowd say in real time? Predictably enough, she said nothing. Gore delivered his much-maligned speech on September 23, 2002. This was Dowds only reference to Gore right through to the end of the year:
Were not sure what that kumbaya comment meant. But Dowd said nothing about the trashing she seems to roll eyes at today.
By the way, it wasnt just Krauthammer, Kelly and other conservatives. Dowds clueless colleague, the Viscount Frank Rich, also made a fool of himself in the wake of Gores speech. That November, Rich wrote a column in which he baldly misdescribed a Gore appearance on the Today show, making it seem that Gore wouldnt say what he thought about Iraq. And the Viscount told us why Gore had allegedly ducked. Plainly, this is one of the dumbest paragraphs of the past political era:
What a buffoon. What else did the guy have to do with himself? Even as Rich dictated this column to his valet, the political lifer was developing the environmental work which would bring him Nobel Peace Prize! But Rich just knew that Gore was running for presidentthat this explained the refusal to speak he had so vastly misdescribed.
No, Gore didnt run for president in 04. But it took Rich a very long time to abandon his war against this Clintonesque fellow. When Gores film appeared in 2006, he wrote an equally ludicrous column. Gore just seems to be running for president, the Viscount dictatedagain.
Dowd could have challenged Rich in 2002, along with Kelly, and Krauthammer, and many others. But noshe failed to speak.
This morning, the lady seems to roll her eyes about the assault aimed at Gore in 02. The lady speaks seven year too late. In real time, she sat this war out.
What Gingrich said: What Gingrich said about Gore was inanebut Dowd had to massage it a bit to fit this mornings high purpose. Gingrich spoke to Chris Bury on Nightline, two days after Gore gave his speech:
According to Gingrich, it was OK to vote against the war resolutionit was just wrong to speak against it. The other side should shut their big yaps, Gingrich seemed to say, much as we liberals tend to do now.
What Gingrich said made little sense. But Dowd cut several corners in her description, making her theme work out a bit better. Did Gingrich gripe about Gore asserting that W. was making America less safe? (Our emphasis.) Put it this way: If you want todays column to work out just right, thats precisely what Gingrich did.
THE ANSWER DOES LIE IN THE WORLD OF BILL WOLFF: Amazing, aint it? Who you get to see at night on your cable TV machine thing-y?
Consider the case of Marion Barry, a major figure in American politics over the past forty-plus years.
Barry was once a major civil rights activist. Then, he became the mayor of Washingtona rather important American city. Sometimes for good, sometime less so, he has been a major player in our politics for many years.
Today, Barry sits on the D.C. city council. In that role, he recently entered this countrys ongoing debate about same-sex marriage. The city council had approved a bill to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions. Last Wednesday, Tim Craig reported Barrys comments and actions, on the front page of the Washington Post:
Is Barry right about the views of the black community? We hopeand assumethat he isnt. (Our assumption is based on the 12-1 vote within the city council.) That said, Barrys comments produced spirited reaction in, and from, the Washington Post. Three days later, for example, the Post printed an editorial condemning Barrys statements (click here). Mr. Barry's Ugly Words, the headline said. The D.C. Council member chose politics over principle in a vote against recognizing same-sex marriages.
Barry is a major American politician, in a major American city. He sits where the rubber meets the roadinside a political body which may consider a bill to legalize same-sex marriages. We werent offended by Barrys ugly words ourselvesalthough we hope (and assume) he was wrong in his sweeping assessment of the views within DCs black community.
But its funny, aint it? You havent heard squat about Barrys ugly words on your progressive cable news channel! But last night, The Dumbest Person in the World devoted another lengthy segment to ridicule of Carrie Prejean, an insignificant 21-year-old who recently made the mistake of saying something about same-sex marriage which Olbermann has never even bothered describing. (For the record, her view on the matter seems to resemble that of Barack Obama. And that of Hillary Clinton. And John Kerry and Al Gore.) The big nut went on for almost seven minutes mocking Prejeanand her breast implants. But its funny, aint it? Youve never heard a word on this program about the things Marion Barry said.
Of course, the reasons for that are obvious:
Olbermann doesnt have videotape of Barry walking around in a two-piece swim suit. And Barry is an older man, not a younger woman. As Olbermann has made dumb-foundingly clear, he seems to live for the opportunity to ridicule young women. He never says boo about older manperhaps understanding they could come to his studio and engage in conduct which might require him to obtain a sphincter implant.
Olbermanns a woman-trashera genuine nut on this matter. And no, we hate to break the news: He doesnt do progressive television. He seems to do work designed to capture the eyeballs of well-meaning young liberals. And for some ungodly reason, he does television which has long been devoted to the ridicule of womens brains and bodies.
Marion Barry doesnt count. An insignificant creation of Donald Trump quite incessantly does.
(Background: Trump owns the Miss USA contest. He now engineers a dispute every year, hoping to bring his product parity with the more famous Miss America pageant.)
For sheer stupidity, we strongly recommend last nights buffoonish segment, devoted to the eternal dumbness of Miss California. (To watch the segment, click this.) Olbermann plays you every way but blue, citing those breast implants two separate times (including in his opening paragraph) and failing to tell you why Prejean might be upset about the way shes been treated. (He always forgets to explain this.) You see, in the world of progressive cable, calling a young woman a c*nt and a b*itch isnt worthy of commentif she fails to hold pseudo-progressive views, that is. Where are the feminists? Laura Ingraham inquired. We would broaden her limited framework: Where are the progressives?
Oh, we forgot! Theyre dragging their knuckles and sucking their thumbs, watching a 50-year-old nutcase get his eternal jollies. And drive his rating among the demo, putting millions of bucks in his pants.
In this world, Barry doesnt exist. You see, Barry is both black and male, and Keith doesnt plan to enter such realms. For years, he has pimped you trash about womens dumbness, while progressives have sat there and stared.
Prejean is a thoroughly insignificant figurean invention of Trumps latest pseudo-controversy. By way of contrast, Barry is a major player in one of our most important citiesa city known all over the world, even in Secaucus. But so what? On your progressive TV machine, you hear about onebut not the other. And yes, the answer to this conundrum lies in the corporate world of Bill Wolffa world well now have to wait to explore until next Monday morning. Except for what follows, of course:
This just in from the world of Bill Wolff: Wolff became king of MSNBC prime-time programs in September 2005. Soon, he was appearing in the humor spot on the Tucker Carlson vehicle, Tucker, guesting for fresh-faced Willie Geist when Geist was on assignment. (Cable-speak for jury duty.) Wolffs background lies in All Things Inane, which made him perfect for this network. And sure enough! Below, we see him two years ago, pimping the profit-centered joys of that years Trump-engineered gong-show.
As you may recall, that years perfect trumped-up piffle involved Miss USA, Tara Conner, someone else whose crown the lordly Trump was willing to save in the end. In the exchange which follows, Wolff delivered whats known as a gaffe. A gaffe is what happens when a corporate soul goes rogue and tells us the truth. Background: Tara Connor was very hot in a swimsuit:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! But yes: Thats why progressive cable has focused on the insignificant person, Prejean, rather than on someone more important. MSNBC has focused on Prejean so Wolff can run endless swimsuit tape, thereby letting Olbermann muse about those breast implants.
Why did Olbermann mention those breast implants twice? Rubes! Because that was the actual topic!
That, and the fact that Olbermann has a remarkable, long-time jones about trashing young women.
Bottom line: Wolff and his sick pal are corporate men. They play their tapes to drive their ratings, thus putting large bundles of cash in their pants. (Olbermann is paid $5 million to grab you with this nonsense.) Well tell you more about Wolff next weekabout the answers which emerge from his world. But lets start with this: He should have stayed in the Meaningless Realms from which he was plucked by this channel.
About that brilliant new segment: Lets not bury the real news here. Last nights seven-minute gong-show marked the debut of a thrilling new segment. In this clip, a big block of cheese explained his latest inspiration:
Things slid downhill quickly from there. But youll note how quickly this skillful player found his way to those breast implants. And there was a reason for that, of course. Check Wolffs gaffe from 2007! To state what should be blindingly obvious: Thats what the segment was about!
But big excitement! Well enjoy a new regular segment on Countdowna regular WTF moment. Presumably, this means that Olbermanns show will now proceed like this:
On the issues front, youll hear about tortureand nothing else. From there, youll go straight to the bullsh*t.
WTF means what the f*ck. Years ago, that was our own reaction when we watched Olbermann, night after night, ridiculing a string of young women. Young male athletes were doing lots of weird things at the time. Funnythey never got mentioned.
The toss to Rachel: We were struck again last night by the inappropriateness of staging a seven-minute trashing like this, then tossing to a woman, Rachel Maddow. The last time this happened, we thought Maddow dealt somewhat poorly with the exchange, letting a bit of discomfort show. Last night, she seemed a bit better prepared. Yes, her smile struck us as somewhat forced. But this is what she actually said, as best we could transcribe it (its close to perfectly accurate). These opening remarks dont appear in the Nexis transcript:
I wasnt able to watch it today! We knowyou assume she was being ironic. Well have to voice our judgmentshe wasnt. Whatever one thinks of the merits of Maddows program, certain people will do and say anything on the road to wealth and success. Whatever you think of her programs merits (its vastly better than Countdown), Maddow often strikes us as one of those types.
Tomorrow, well look at her latest ridiculous segment with Lawrence Wilkerson, who once sat at the right hand of God. (To watch the segment, click here.) And at her very worthwhile segment with Eliot Spitzer (click this). Omigod! We involuntarily thought of the world of Bill Wolff, hearing some things Spitzer said!