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THEIR ROOTS ARE SHOWING! Intern tales make them feel alive! If you doubt it, read man-or-mouse Kaus:


THEIR ROOTS ARE SHOWING: “Intern!” It’s rapidly becoming the root word of “Internet!” Across the Net, all the lonely people—the Wonkettes and wonkette-linking Kauses—are stroking their pale, unloved thighs this day. Once again, they’ve found the way they can make blood rush all through their pale, unloved bodies.

All hail the culture of affluence! And all hail its vacuous progeny, empty all the way to the floor! Survival no longer being at issue, they return to ancestral roots in the swamp. There’s only one thing that makes their blood move—and they want you to be as empty as they are. Their blood is rushing quite hard this day. Their emptiness puts your future at issue.

MAN-OR-MOUSE KAUS: Incredible, isn’t it? This is what Mickey Kaus cuts-and-pastes with thigh-rubbing glee. It’s a gossip item, from the Boston Herald—an item published six years ago. Mickey hopes you’ll think all about it:


September 2, 1998

HEADLINE: Inside Track; Job seeker is model constituent


Question of the day: Who was the statuesque blonde strutting out of Sen. John Kerry’s palatial Louisburg Square manse late Monday night when Kerry’s wife, heiress Teresa Heinz, was on Nantucket?

We are told she is [name omitted] a 22-year-old Harvard student and former model who, Kerry’s people claim, was dropping off a resume.

Our spies on the Square say the stunning Southern gal, dressed in oh-so-chic black, arrived at Kerry’s townhouse around 11:15 p.m. and left just before the clock struck 12.


Which leads us to ask: In the age of Monica Lewinsky, is it smart for a senator with presidential aspirations to be entertaining attractive women when the wife is away?

“He was very kind to me. He offered to pass my resume along,” [the student] told the Track.

The Georgetown grad said she was not at Kerry’s home at midnight—more like 10:45 p.m.—and that she would have dropped off the resume earlier except that it was locked in her brother’s apartment.

Both [the student] and Kerry’s people insist the encounter was completely innocent. They said the senator met [the student] on Nantucket earlier this summer, then again last weekend. ... [end of Kausfiles cut-and-paste]

“Both [the student] and Kerry’s people insist the encounter was completely innocent,” the Herald reported. Kaus offers no reason to think that’s untrue, but runs to cut-and-paste it anyway. Blood rushing mightily to the “front lines,” he then excuses himself for a few moments.

By the way: Kaus may he a cheap peeping-tom, but he’s brilliantly chivalrous too. Heroically, he edits the woman’s name. It’s too bad he didn’t drop Kerry’s.

By the way, how big a clown is Slate’s man-or-mouse? Here’s what Kaus edited from the article at the point he marks with a “[snip]:”

KAUSFILES DELETION: Not unlike Cinderella.
That’s it—the entire deletion! Apparently the Mighty Man thought the three-word phrase would make his World Exclusive seem trivial.

For the record, Kaus’ post was waved into print by Jacob Weisberg. As he did so, Weisberg toweled off from a soak in the tub, where he’d been pondering Wesley Clark’s lashes. But make no mistake: You and your children’s future interests are threatened by this devolving elite. Their cohort is empty, all the way to the floor. Only interns can get their blood rushing.

WHY THEY REPORT TODAY: There are many more stories in today’s papers about Bush and the National Guard. In the Times, David Barstow is “Seeking Memories of Bush At an Alabama Air Base.” In the Post, Mike Allen and Lois Romano give us “Aides Study President’s Service Records.” Below that, Dana Milbank writes a piece called “A Mouthful in the Name of Full Disclosure.” At one point, Milbank describes Bush’s old speeding tickets. We chuckled when the Post-man said this:

MILBANK: It’s all part of a painful lesson Bush has learned in recent days about the slippery slope of disclosure.
But why has Bush learned that lesson “in recent days?” Because the press corps avoided this story in 1999 and 2000, when it should have been doing the basic reporting. But at that time, the press was conducting its War Against Gore. It was inventing ludicrous tales about Gore—and taking a total pass on Bush. Troubling tales about Bush had to die. So the national press corps went AWOL.

The point we made yesterday is quite important. When one follows the current reporting on Bush and the Guard, it’s hard to believe that this is the second time Bush has run for the White House. Why is the reporting being done now? Because the press corps went in the tank for Bush during Campaign 2000. The press corps’ conduct during that campaign is one of America’s greatest scandals. When you see them reporting this story today, don’t forget how they sold you out then.